Chris Port Blog #166. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 9 of 17) News item: Tornado warning.

Superman Versus The Uberbabes

© Chris Port, 2000

 A Youth Theatre 'Play In A Day'

This little playlet was written VERY quickly (first and only draft) for a ‘play in a day’ at a youth theatre with LOTS of kids! It’s (hopefully) fun and silly, with a slightly more adult message underneath...

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SCENES ONE THROUGH TO SEVENTEEN

#158. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 1 of 17) Luthor’s hideout: Luthor briefs his lackeys.

#159. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 2 of 17) Street Scene: outside the offices of The Daily Distortion.

#160. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 3 of 17) The offices of The Daily Distortion.

#161. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 4 of 17) The Holotape.

#162. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 5 of 17) News item: Earthquake warning.

#163. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 6 of 17) Earthquake: Superman to the rescue.

#164. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 7 of 17) News item: Tidal wave warning.

#165. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 8 of 17) Tidal wave: Superman to the rescue.

#166. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 9 of 17) News item: Tornado warning.

#167. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 10 of 17) Tornado: Superman to the rescue.

#168. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 11 of 17) The Crystal Palace.

#169. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 12 of 17) Two months later: The Monster of Consumerism appears.

#170. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 13 of 17) The Chat Show.

#171. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 14 of 17) Lois has enough.

#172. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 15 of 17) The Speak-Easy.

#173. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 16 of 17) The Regurgitator.

#174. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 17 of 17) Superman reverses time.

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SCENE NINE

News item: Tornado warning.

CAST

Clark Essex; Lois Vain; Newsreader.

[CLARK enters].

LOIS

Well?

CLARK

Uh, sorry. Well what, Lois?

LOIS

Your mom’s apple and maple syrup fritters. Did you get the recipe?

CLARK

Uh, yes, Lois. Its, uh, apple and, err...

LOIS

Maple syrup?

CLARK

Yes. Do you know it?

LOIS

No. Call it female intuition. Talking of which, I intuit there may be some more disasters. Turn on that HoloTV Clark.

CLARK

Uh, sure thing, Lois.

[CLARK turns the HoloTV back on].

NEWSREADER

... and Police Chiefs in Southend-on-Sea near London, England, have asked for Superman to help them with their inquiries. British scientists have speculated that Superman may have actually caused the recent tidal wave by flying too low at supersonic speeds. So, once again, it appears that Superman’s outdated macho posturing may have caused another near disaster. Like I said earlier, no smoke without fire. Or no water without sound waves.

News just in from Smallville in the state of Kansas. A massive twister, a tornado fifty miles across, has suddenly appeared out of nowhere. A state of national emergency has been declared. Could it be that Superman, with his reckless disregard for human life and speed limits, has once again brought  calamity on the heads of innocent women and children?

[CLARK turns the HoloTV off and starts to exit].

LOIS

Hey, this jerk has really got it in for Superman. Hey Clark? Where ya going?

CLARK

Uh, sorry Lois. What with all this excitement I have to go to the bathroom.

LOIS

Sheesh. A little more than I needed to know, Clark.

CLARK

It’ll only take a minute, Lois.

LOIS

That’s what all men say, Clark. Story of my life.

CLARK

Uh, I have to hurry. Back in one of your Earth minutes.

[CLARK exits].

LOIS

Sheesh. That guy is weird.