Superman Versus The Uberbabes
© Chris Port, 2000
A Youth Theatre 'Play In A Day'
This little playlet was written VERY quickly (first and only draft) for a ‘play in a day’ at a youth theatre with LOTS of kids! It’s (hopefully) fun and silly, with a slightly more adult message underneath...
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SCENES ONE THROUGH TO SEVENTEEN
#159. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 2 of 17) Street Scene: outside the offices of The Daily Distortion.
#169. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 12 of 17) Two months later: The Monster of Consumerism appears.
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News item: Tornado warning.
Clark Essex; Lois Vain; Newsreader.
Uh, sorry. Well what, Lois?
Your mom’s apple and maple syrup fritters. Did you get the recipe?
Uh, yes, Lois. Its, uh, apple and, err...
Yes. Do you know it?
No. Call it female intuition. Talking of which, I intuit there may be some more disasters. Turn on that HoloTV Clark.
Uh, sure thing, Lois.
[CLARK turns the HoloTV back on].
... and Police Chiefs in Southend-on-Sea near London, England, have asked for Superman to help them with their inquiries. British scientists have speculated that Superman may have actually caused the recent tidal wave by flying too low at supersonic speeds. So, once again, it appears that Superman’s outdated macho posturing may have caused another near disaster. Like I said earlier, no smoke without fire. Or no water without sound waves.
News just in from Smallville in the state of Kansas. A massive twister, a tornado fifty miles across, has suddenly appeared out of nowhere. A state of national emergency has been declared. Could it be that Superman, with his reckless disregard for human life and speed limits, has once again brought calamity on the heads of innocent women and children?
[CLARK turns the HoloTV off and starts to exit].
Hey, this jerk has really got it in for Superman. Hey Clark? Where ya going?
Uh, sorry Lois. What with all this excitement I have to go to the bathroom.
Sheesh. A little more than I needed to know, Clark.
It’ll only take a minute, Lois.
That’s what all men say, Clark. Story of my life.
Uh, I have to hurry. Back in one of your Earth minutes.
Sheesh. That guy is weird.