Tuesday 5 April 2011

Chris Port Blog #161. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 4 of 17) The Holotape.

Superman Versus The Uberbabes
© Chris Port, 2000
 A Youth Theatre 'Play In A Day'

This little playlet was written VERY quickly (first and only draft) for a ‘play in a day’ at a youth theatre with LOTS of kids! It’s (hopefully) fun and silly, with a slightly more adult message underneath...

*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

SCENES ONE THROUGH TO SEVENTEEN

















*        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *        *

SCENE FOUR
The Holotape.

CAST
Clark Essex; Lois Vain; Advert Men 1-2; Advert Women 1-2.

CLARK
Uh. Lois. I wondered if I might have a word with you?

LOIS
Oh Clark! You’re such a schmuk! The girls are just having a bit of fun! If you were real men you’d put up with it. We girls had to put up with it for centuries!

CLARK
Uh. You must have lived a very long time then, Lois.

LOIS
You tryin’ to be funny, wise guy?

CLARK
Uh, no Lois. Sorry. I forget people’s life spans sometimes.

LOIS
You are weird Clark. And stop apologizing all the time, will ya? Nobody can be wrong that often. Not even you. So what do you want? And if you say a date, forget it. I like you Clark. You’re loyal and cute in a dopey, dribbley kind of way. Like my dog. Now if you were Superman....

CLARK
Uh. It was Superman who thought I should speak to you Lois.

LOIS
What? He wants a date?

CLARK
Uh. No Lois.

LOIS
Oh rats!
 
CLARK
Uh. Well perhaps sometime soon. But there was something he wanted me to show you.

LOIS
[Grabbing CLARK]. Pictures? Of him? Swimming? Working out? Although it’s his personality I’m attracted to.

CLARK
Uh. Yes. Well. No. I mean. Yes, pictures. But no, not of him.

LOIS
Oh. What then?

CLARK
Uh, well, I think... that is, Superman thinks... there’s something going on in the media. Like the way that, uh, women are always shown to be smart and assertive, not that they’re not, and like how men are always shown to be stupid and weak, uh, not that they’re not...

LOIS
So what does he want me to look at?

CLARK
[Taking small device like a pocket calculator out of his pocket]. Uh, well Superman has compiled this Holotape...

LOIS
Holotape? What’s that? A tape with nothing in it?

CLARK
Uh. no. Its a new invention. Kind of like a video-tape using three-dimensional holographic lasers. Like watching the real thing. Here, Superman wanted me to show you a sample of TV adverts at the moment... [CLARK turns on the Holographic projector. Briefly parody 2 adverts where women are shown to be smart and assertive and men are shown to be stupid and weak - not difficult these days!].

No comments:

Post a Comment