Superman Versus The Uberbabes
© Chris Port, 2000
A Youth Theatre 'Play In A Day'
This little playlet was written VERY quickly (first and only draft) for a ‘play in a day’ at a youth theatre with LOTS of kids! It’s (hopefully) fun and silly, with a slightly more adult message underneath...
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SCENES ONE THROUGH TO SEVENTEEN
#159. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 2 of 17) Street Scene: outside the offices of The Daily Distortion.
#169. Superman Versus The Uberbabes (Scene 12 of 17) Two months later: The Monster of Consumerism appears.
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News item: Tidal wave warning.
Joe Public; Clark Essex; Lois Vain; Newsreader.
[Pointing upwards]. Look! Up there! In the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? [Something drops in his eye]. It’s a bird. [Exits].
Uh, sorry Lois. It took me a while to get some small change.
Hey, Clark. Turn that HoloTV thing back on, will ya?
[CLARK turns the HoloTV back on].
... News in from the Tokyo earthquake. Police Chief Manga Yamamoto reports that the emergency services had everything under control when guess who should show up, trying to claim all the credit, but Superman - or Super Pants as some wags have now dubbed him. This reporter, for one, sees something more sinister going on. Have you noticed how Superman is always looking for credit? Always hanging around disasters? Sometimes even arriving just before they happen? No smoke without fire, that’s what I say.
News just coming in from the sunny seaside resort of Southend-on-Sea near London, England. A giant tsunami, a giant tidal wave over one hundred feet high, is threatening the California-style beaches and Las Vegas-style casinos of the world-famous Golden Mile. Emergency services are clearing tens of thousands of sunbathers and surfers inland...
[Turning HoloTV off]. Uh, Lois. Would you excuse me for a moment? I just need to phone my silver-haired mom about her recipe for apple and maple syrup fritters.
Clark! Anybody with that kind of craving is either pregnant or just plain weird. And last time I noticed you were of the sperm-nation persuasion.
Uh, sorry Lois. Like you said. I must be weird.
[CLARK exits and turns into SUPERMAN].