© Chris Port, 1994. All rights reserved.
Scene 12.
Narrator, Marie Horner, Steve Marshall, Carl Brewerton, Eleanor Parker, Tina Smalls.
Flirting.
(The Narrator approaches the sofa which is now occupied by Steve Marshall, Marie Horner and Carl Brewerton. Marie is seated in between the two boys. She apparently favours Steve as she is turned slightly towards him and away from Carl. As the Narrator speaks, we see the flirt in action).
NARRATOR
The flirt. Or, as some girls might put it, “That bitch who’d better stay away from my boyfriend”. Now flirts have a bad reputation but this may be unfair. Is flirting something deliberate or do some girls simply give out the wrong signals by dressing and acting friendly? Most girls would tend to say “That bitch knows exactly what she’s doing, and if she bats her eyelashes at my boyfriend one more time I’ll bat them both with a baseball bat”. Most boys, on the other hand, are sweetly unaware of flirtation, and put all this attention down to their own imagined charms.
Now flirting, if it’s deliberate, doesn’t take much. All a girl needs to do to be a flirt is smile and show a little interest, and a little leg or cleavage. All this arm-touching and eye-contact business is more of a calculated provocation to every other girl in the room. If you could hear the grinding of teeth through gritted smiles it would drive you dental.
This (indicating Marie) is Marie Horner, whose reputation precedes her. This (indicating Steve) is Steve Marshall, whose girlfriend we saw crying in the toilet earlier. And this (indicating Carl) is Carl Brewerton, who is currently single and may well be for life.
MARIE
(To Steve). What sort of music do you like?
STEVE
Well there’s this local group. I don’t suppose you’d know them.
MARIE
Oh. What are they called?
STEVE
‘Terminal Ecstasy’.
MARIE
Oh I know them. I went to see them at ‘The Royal’ last month. They’re brilliant.
STEVE
You were at ‘The Royal’? I was there that night.
MARIE
Oh I wish I’d seen you.
CARL
I was there too.
MARIE
(Ignoring Carl). Oh that singer was fantastic. What was his name?
STEVE
David Temple? Yeah. He’s good.
MARIE
He’s got a really pert bum you just want to squeeze.
STEVE
(Slightly embarrassed). Yeah. Well. He didn’t have quite the same effect on me.
MARIE
Oh I think you’ve got a really sweet bum too.
STEVE
(Perplexed but flattered). Oh. Do you think so?
CARL
What do you think of my arse?
MARIE
(Ignoring Carl). Yes. You’ve got quite good muscles on you too. What sports do you play?
STEVE
Well I play pool. Oh, and I’m starting up a band too.
MARIE
Really? That’s brilliant. What instrument do you play?
STEVE
I’m a drummer.
CARL
I can play the trumpet.
MARIE
(Ignoring Carl). That must be where you get your arm muscles from. Can I feel them?
STEVE
Yeah. Sure. (He offers his arm. Marie runs her hand up and down his bicep).
MARIE
Oh that’s really firm.
CARL
My lips are quite strong.
MARIE
(Ignoring Carl). What are you called? The band I mean.
STEVE
We haven’t decided on a name yet.
MARIE
What other bands do you like?
STEVE
Well I like ‘The Doors’.
MARIE
How about calling yourselves ‘The Windows’?
STEVE
(Not impressed). Yeah. Well. That’s one idea. (He is suddenly struck by another idea). Maybe you’d like to come to one of our sessions?
MARIE
Could I? I’d really like that.
STEVE
Yeah. We’re rehearsing next Friday.
CARL
(To Steve). Do you think Joanna’d mind?
MARIE
(Innocently). Joanna? Oh, Joanna Lewis? (To Steve). Are you going out with her then?
STEVE
Well. Sort of. You know. Nothing heavy. She just hangs around.
MARIE
Oh. I wouldn’t want to split you two up or anything.
STEVE
No. It’s not a problem. She’s not really into music anyway.
MARIE
Oh that’s a shame. I’d come and see you play all the time. Still, if she wouldn’t mind, perhaps I could come and listen?
STEVE
Yeah. That’d be great. Are you doing anything next Friday?
MARIE
Oh I’m not sure yet. Give me a ring on Thursday and I’ll let you know.
STEVE
Okay. What’s your number?
(Marie takes a notepad and pen out of her bag and starts to write down her phone number. Joanna, Eleanor and Tina enter in the background. Eleanor comes over).
ELEANOR
(Ignoring Marie). Steve. Jo’s not feeling very well.
MARIE
Oh I’m sorry. Its Eleanor, isn’t it?
ELEANOR
Yes. You’re Marie Horn, aren’t you?
MARIE
Horner, actually.
ELEANOR
Oh I’m sorry. (To Steve). Well?
STEVE
(Caught in the middle). What?
ELEANOR
Aren’t you going to take Jo home?
STEVE
Oh. I thought she was going home with you.
ELEANOR
Tina and I are staying. We thought you might like to take Jo home, seeing as she’s your girlfriend.
STEVE
Oh. Right. I’ll err... (To Marie). I’ll see you around then.
MARIE
‘Bye.
(Steve goes over to Joanna and look like he’s going to have a hard time of it. Eleanor turns her back on Marie. Tina comes over).
TINA
(To Marie). You know, the only thing that holds your knickers up is your slag’s arse.
MARIE
I beg your pardon?
TINA
Yeah. And I’ll bet you begged his hard on too. Tart! (She exits with Eleanor).
CARL
(To Marie). I got some videos with me tonight.
MARIE
(Paying attention now). Oh really? What sort?
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