Chris Port Blog #302. The Only Commandment Is Essex…

© Chris Port, 16^th July 2011

Inspired by The Essex Bible Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Essex-Bible/207392709306736#!/pages/The-Essex-Bible/207392709306736?sk=wall

1. Thou shalt ripen thy skin as an orange in the sun.
2. Thou shalt tincture thy hair as t’were a flaxen doll.
3. Thy skirt must be modest - no more than a hand span.
4. Thy bosom must swell with gelatinous wonder.
5. Thy heels should soar, thy steps should be brief.
6. With the breeze of molasses shalt thou honour Bacchus.
7. With thy strumpet japes shalt thou honour Priapus.
8. With thy chimpanzee mirth shalt thou dismember the Colobus.
9. Thou shalt spend thy pennies in the doors of merchants.
10. Thou shalt not suffer a bitch to live.