Monday, 2 May 2011

Chris Port Blog #249. OBL – The Mystery Death (with apologies to T.S. Eliot)

© Chris Port, 2nd May 2011

OBL’s a mystery death: a Pakistani Paw
He was the mahdi terrorist who deified a war
The embarrassment of politics, the CIA’s despair
For when they breached an ally’s walls
– their enemy was there!


  1. Western involvement in Afghanistan isn’t really about Afghanistan. It’s about Pakistan. The madrassas (religious schools) in the east of Pakistan are hotbeds of radical Islamic fundamentalism. The Taliban are their proxies. Pakistan has nuclear weapons and a history of going to war with India (which also has nuclear weapons). All of this is going on in new hyperpower China’s ‘backyard’. There are a lot of tinder trails in the region. Any one of them could ignite World War 3. That’s why, even though we’re bankrupt, we’re still trying to stay in the new ‘Great Game’.

    See Robert Fisk on Afghanistan... (brilliant geo-political analysis - very depressing, I’m afraid)

    Not unlike the old ‘Great Game’ ( Only this time the players have nuclear weapons. And politico-religious fanatics trying to get their fingers on the buttons.

    Just as resolving the Palestinian ‘problem’ is the key to a Middle East peace settlement, solving the Kashmir ‘problem’ is the key to an Indo-Pakistan peace settlement.

    “... It’s about injustice. And if you accept injustice, if you promote injustice, if you do not bring justice, or help to promote it, you will not have peace, you will have eternal war. And our soldiers will die and, in much greater numbers, the local Muslims will die.”

    Ultimately, it’s all about oil, money, growing populations, dwindling resources, and a tectonic shift in geo-political power. We live in ‘interesting times’ :(

  2. The Daily Mash
    Tuesday, 3 May 2011!-what-the-hell%27s-that?%27-shouts-pakistan-201105033768%2F%2F/

    'Good God! What the hell's that?' shouts Pakistan

    PAKISTAN last night pointed at the sky and screamed in a pathetic attempt to distract the world from its nauseatingly transparent guilt.

    As Osama Bin Laden was gunned down while giving a sensuous back rub to Pakistan's head of intelligence, the country said it thought it saw a massive bat.

    President Asif Ali Zardari said: "Did you not see it? It was really huge. I think we should all go and look for it immediately

    "Or at least talk about it to the exclusion of all other topics."

    After realising that everyone in the world was still looking at him, Mr Zardari then went back to staring intently at his own feet.

    Just under 30 seconds later he looked up and added: "Oh sorry, did you say Osama Bin Laden? I thought you were looking for someone called Ian... Bin Laden.

    "If you'd have said 'Osama' then I would have immediately pointed you to a large house yards from our nation's elite military academy and in the same town where rich and powerful Pakistanis take their holidays.

    "But, as I say, I was absolutely sure you said 'Ian'. Oh well, what's done is done.

    "Anyway, where were we? Oh yes - would anyone like to give me billions of dollars in aid? Anyone? Anyone? No? Oh come on, you're not still in a bad mood about this 'Ian' thing are you?"

    In America, a delighted Congress rushed through a constitutional amendment allowing US presidents to be born in Kenya if they feel like it, while in some gold-plated hellhole in New York, Donald Trump was shutting his big, fat, stupid, fucking face.