© Chris Port, 1994. All rights reserved.
Scene 17.
Monica, Dan.
Monica and Dan split up in the garden.
(Dan comes out into the garden, obviously slightly drunk. Monica is sitting on the patio step, looking up at the stars).
DAN
What are you doing out here. (No reply). Not talking to me?
MONICA
I was just looking at the stars. (Dan laughs). What’s funny about that?
DAN
Nothing. Sorry. Nothing. (He sits down beside her). You know, the ancients believed that the night sky was this huge domed canopy that God put over the world so we can sleep. But He didn’t want to leave us in complete darkness. So he made thousands of tiny pinprick holes in it. And through those holes, you can see the light of Heaven. (Slight pause). Complete bollocks, of course, but it’s a good optical trick.
MONICA
Why do you always do that?
DAN
What?
MONICA
I’ve noticed. Every time you say something nice you always have to spoil it. You’re always trying to prove how clever, how ironical, you are. It’s just boring. I’ve had enough of it.
DAN
Why are you shaking?
MONICA
I’m not shaking. I’m shivering. But being thick-skinned, I don’t suppose you’d notice.
DAN
Oh. Well. If I’m thick-skinned and you’re cold, you’d better wear my jacket then. (He takes off his jacket).
MONICA
I don’t want your jacket.
DAN
(Sniffing jacket). Yeah. I see what you mean.
MONICA
(Smiling, in spite of herself). No. I don’t mean that you smell. I just don’t want to wear your jacket. I’m happy the way I am, thank you.
DAN
Don’t be stupid. You’d rather be cold?
MONICA
I’m alright. Why don’t you go inside and get a drink?
DAN
Alright. What would you like?
MONICA
I don’t want one, thanks.
DAN
Well I’ve had enough tonight.
MONICA
Are you drunk again?
DAN
It’s only my body that gets drunk. My mind is completely sober.
MONICA
(Shaking her head). God.
DAN
You called?
MONICA
No. I said God, not shit.
(Pause).
DAN
Why don’t we go away somewhere?
MONICA
What?
DAN
Not this second. On holiday, I mean. I’ll take you away to Paris next month.
MONICA
No.
DAN
Alright. I just thought you might like Paris, that’s all. Where would you want to go?
MONICA
It’s not that. I just don’t think it would be a good idea.
DAN
What wouldn’t?
MONICA
Us going away together.
DAN
Why not?
MONICA
It just wouldn’t. Not now.
(Pause).
DAN
Lets go upstairs.
MONICA
MONICA
No.
DAN
Oh for... Christ’s sake! What is it now?
MONICA
I just don’t feel like it.
DAN
(Joking). If you loved me, you’d let me.
MONICA
If you loved me, you wouldn’t ask.
DAN
If you loved me, I wouldn’t need to ask. (Pause). Monica? Are you going to tell me what’s going on?
MONICA
I don’t feel the same way about you anymore.
DAN
Oh. What exactly does that mean?
MONICA
What other way do you want me to say it?
DAN
How can you say that you love someone and then just wake up one morning and say “Oh sorry, I’ve changed my mind”?
MONICA
Don’t be such a prat! I haven’t ‘changed my mind’. I just don’t feel the same way.
DAN
But if you love someone you don’t just suddenly stop loving them, do you?
MONICA
I haven’t just ‘stopped’. I just can’t help the way I feel.
DAN
DAN
(Mimicking sarcastically). “I just can’t help the way I feel”. Great answer that. I mean it covers everything, doesn’t it? Change your mind. Break your word. Lie. Cheat. Steal. Do anything you want. When you come before the judge, “Sorry your Honour, I just can’t help the way I feel”. I must remember that one.
MONICA
I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.
DAN
(Standing up). Fine. That suits me fine. I’m going now.
MONICA
(Without looking up). Okay.
DAN
(Softening). I want you to have my jacket. To keep, I mean.
MONICA
I told you, I don’t want your jacket.
DAN
(Throwing jacket on the ground). Then I’ll leave it for you in case you ‘change your mind’.
MONICA
(Looking up). You’re drunk and you’re being stupid. Just pick it up and go. I’ll call you tomorrow.
DAN
(Picking up jacket. Sulky). Why? What’s there to talk about?
MONICA
(Looking back down). Suit yourself.
DAN
(Softening again). No. That’s not what I meant. We could go out for a drink? Tomorrow night?
MONICA
(Standing up). Yes. A friendly drink.
DAN
How about a friendly goodnight kiss?
MONICA
Don’t spoil things. Just go now.
DAN
(Mock seductively). How can you refuse a dying man?
MONICA
You’ll live.
(Dan kisses her).
DAN
You see? If I keep trying, I always get there in the end.
MONICA
Yes. Yes you do, don’t you? Just try it with the rest of your life. (Affectionately). Goodnight you prat.
DAN
(Affectionately). Goodnight. (Exits).
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