© Chris Port, 2004
SCENE: 9
CHARACTERS: GERDA, PRINCE
ACTION: RED HERRINGS.
GERDA
Crow! Don’t leave me! He’s gone. Oh well. He got me this far. Now. Where are the bedrooms? Ah. This looks like one.
SHE SILENTLY TURNS THE DOORKNOB AND ENTERS THE ROOM. THERE IS A BOY CURLED UP ASLEEP IN BED. SHE CANNOT SEE HIS FACE.
Could this be Kay? Oh, it must be Kay!
SHE BENDS OVER HIM TO LOOK AT HIS FACE IN THE CANDLELIGHT. THE BOY AWAKENS WITH A SHOUT. GERDA SCREAMS.
GERDA/PRINCE
TOGETHER
Who are you?!
THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER, THEN LAUGH.
PRINCE
This is my bedroom. So I think I’m entitled to ask the question first.
GERDA
I’m sorry. You’re not the person I’m looking for. My name is Gerda.
PRINCE
And mine is the Prince of Denmark.
GERDA
Really? I’d thought you be more miserable. You’re very young and handsome.
PRINCE
Thank you, my dear. I think. And you are very young and pretty. Far too young and pretty to be creeping about a gentleman’s bedroom in the dead of night.
GERDA
I’m sorry about that, your Highness.
PRINCE
That’s quite alright. You don’t seem like a burglar or a murderer. And I’m sure you have a perfectly good explanation.
GERDA
No. I’m afraid I don’t, your Highness.
PRINCE
You mentioned that I wasn’t the person you were looking for. Now, not that I’m a particularly vain prince, but it’s a bit much to be told that in my own bed. Who on earth were you looking for?
GERDA
My friend, Kay. Something terrible has happened to him. His heart turned cold and he ran away. I think he’s been bewitched. I heard about your arrival and I thought you might be him.
PRINCE
Ah. I’m beginning to see, now. A wild goose chase, as they say. And who told you of my arrival?
GERDA
I met this crow…
PRINCE
LAUGHING.
Not Earl? The bird with the word?
GERDA
Yes. I think that was his name. Why? Do you know him?
PRINCE
Only by reputation. More of a wild crow chase then. Oh, he’s a harmless enough gossip, but he does get hold of the wrong end of the stick sometimes. I’m afraid I’m what’s known as a red herring, my dear.
GERDA
Yes. He did say that herrings were his favourite food.
THEY LAUGH.
Please don’t be hard on him. He and his lady crow mean well.
PRINCE
And they shall be fed well on salted red herrings. And you, poor child, you shall be helped on your quest.
AS THE PRINCE LISTS HIS GIFTS, GERDA MIMES THEM IN HER IMAGINATION.
PRINCE
The princess and I shall dress you beaut
In silk and velvet and leather boots
And a golden coach with a coat of arms
So that you may sojourn without harm
Through winter night and summer day
Until you find your beloved Kay.
GERDA
Oh thank you, your Highness! Thank you!
PRINCE
And now, if it’s all right with you, I think we could all do with some sleep. There’s a very fine guest room next door. I’m sure the princess won’t mind.
GERDA
Good night, your Highness.
SHE BOWS.
PRINCE
Good night, sweet maid.
HE BOWS HIS HEAD.
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