Friday, 1 April 2011

Chris Port Blog #156. April Is A Cruel Month

© Chris Port, April 1st 2011

"Public spending cuts to be reversed by 0.05% corporate transaction tax!" rejoiced the morning headlines.

George ‘Ebeneezer’ Osborne was visited by three spirits last night: the ghosts of revolution, past, present and future. He awoke a terrified Christian soul.

Flinging wide his window, he cried at the passing bankers:

“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

They ignored him.

He threw a nifty (£50 note) at a passing child prostitute. But this was snatched up by a passing Westminster Councillor who had been trying to cut his own deal.

“Don’t feed the poor! It only encourages them!” snapped the fat bastard.

“Don’t tell me what to do! I’m the Chancellor! Piss off back to your fat trough, you disgusting slaverchop!” snapped the epiphanic George.

He threw the waif another nifty and told him to buy the biggest turkey in Tesco's. The lad came back with a Rebecca Black CD…

George woke up for real and wept into his pillow. There was no redemption. He was still in hell… April is a cruel month.

*           *           *           *           *           *           *           *

April Is A Cruel Month is also available on 3 Way Split Writer Group Forum.

No comments:

Post a Comment