Chris Port Blog #86. 'Should A Man Marry His Best Friend?'

[For Peter Serafinowicz on Twitter - but mainly for me...]

© Chris Port, 2010

http://twitter.com/#!/serafinowicz
"Can a woman be a man's best friend?”

~ Only if she's a dog.

Why can’t a woman be more like a dog?

Dogs have ten tits! (though they’re not very big).

They’re friendly, brave (though they slobber when snogged)

but if you don’t shave, dogs don’t give a fig.

Dogs love it when you leave one dirty sock

on the bedroom floor. It’s called ‘Hide-and-seek’.

Okay, they eat sick then drink from the bog

then tongue their arse then lick you on the cheek…

But you’ve gagged on girls with smellier breath

- hairier legs, less intelligent eyes…

No dog nags their spouse to physical death

- those quizzical brows never criticize…

The kids will look ugly, I fear that’s true…

but at least they won’t smear their faces with poo.