Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Chris Port Blog #86. 'Should A Man Marry His Best Friend?'

[For Peter Serafinowicz on Twitter - but mainly for me...]
© Chris Port, 2010!/serafinowicz
"Can a woman be a man's best friend?”
~ Only if she's a dog.

Why can’t a woman be more like a dog?
Dogs have ten tits! (though they’re not very big).
They’re friendly, brave (though they slobber when snogged)
but if you don’t shave, dogs don’t give a fig.
Dogs love it when you leave one dirty sock
on the bedroom floor. It’s called ‘Hide-and-seek’.
Okay, they eat sick then drink from the bog
then tongue their arse then lick you on the cheek…
But you’ve gagged on girls with smellier breath
- hairier legs, less intelligent eyes…
No dog nags their spouse to physical death
- those quizzical brows never criticize…
The kids will look ugly, I fear that’s true…
but at least they won’t smear their faces with poo.

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